After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
