i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think people are normalizing furries
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
