Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
