I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i think my cat just said my name.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
