let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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