I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i think im in europe. pls send help
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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