I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
