So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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