I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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