thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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