I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
