she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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