If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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