I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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