yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
