and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
