if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's just like the Real World with babies
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
