Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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