we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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