I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
