if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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