I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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