so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
