So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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