So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
