lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
