I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
