I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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