you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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