therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
