And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
