Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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