i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
