He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
