The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
