Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
