yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
