At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
