Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
