I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
