He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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