dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize