i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
