On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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