good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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