Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
