my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
