Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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