they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
