We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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