Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
