I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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